There it is again, that one sentence. Perhaps it is only a remark or a gesture that seems to change the temperature in the room within seconds. The voice gets sharper, the pulse rises, thoughts take on a life of their own. Suddenly it is no longer about the issue itself. It is about being right. That is exactly the moment in which we lose control.
Whether in a meeting, at a family celebration or in a partnership: most conflicts do not escalate because of differing opinions. They escalate because people react to certain triggers almost like robots instead of arguing and acting consciously. Emotion takes over, composure falls by the wayside. We defend ourselves, attack the other person, withdraw and sulk. The result: relationships suffer, teams lose trust and conversations end where they should really begin.
Poise in conflict situations: why composure is the strongest answer
In her inspiring talk “The Art of Staying Poised”, communication expert and relationship coach Nina Deißler shows why true poise and a convincing presence do not consist in always having the best arguments ready and having the last word at all costs. They lie in the conscious consideration of whether a reaction is necessary at all. Because those who jump at every stick held out to them are playing the other person’s game.
As a relationship expert, Nina Deißler has spent decades helping people take their communication to a new level, strengthen their self-confidence and have more personal impact. Her successful non-fiction books have made her one of the best-known voices on human relationships in the German-speaking world.
Speaker Nina Deißler knows people in all their facets. Her professional experience spans many industries, and from intern to boss she has experienced the challenges of every level of the hierarchy herself. Moving through many different worlds, she has learned how to build relationships and how to convince even in difficult situations. Professional and private successes, setbacks and crises have sharpened her expertise again and again.
What carried Nina Deißler through the most varied phases were humour, mental strength, composure and the ability to stay poised under pressure. All these experiences shape her keynotes and provide the emotional quality that makes talks last.
Quick wit, self-confidence and conflict management in practice
Nina Deißler’s core message: winning a conflict does not automatically mean knocking the other person down. It is more rewarding to preserve relationships and still stand up for your own needs. Modern conflict management means setting clear boundaries, defending them respectfully and sacrificing neither the connection to the other person nor your own poise.
Because quick wit is no feat of strength: while a verbal low blow ends the conflict by tearing down bridges, real quick wit resolves critical situations with humour, elegance and charm. Nobody loses face and everyone stays in the conversation.
The good news: this kind of quick wit can be trained. With strong storytelling, Nina Deißler shares new techniques for defusing attacks, clearing up misunderstandings and conducting difficult conversations constructively. In her talk she lets the audience experience how self-confidence, mental strength and a conscious presence help us stay capable of acting even in emotionally charged situations.
How poised communication creates impact
Real poise begins with ourselves. Those who question and understand their own emotions can act more consciously. Those who set clear boundaries for themselves and others strengthen their self-confidence. Those who do not take every attack personally and develop new perspectives gain lasting composure and impact.
Whether leader, entrepreneur, sales expert or private individual: the challenges may differ, but the basic principles of successful communication are the same. Smart conflict management, a convincing presence, quick wit, mental strength and poise decide whether relationships grow or break. This talk reveals how that can work.
Yes, there will still be people who can dampen the mood with a single sentence, remark or gesture by pushing every emotional button they discover. True poise does not mean removing all the buttons inside us. It means no longer reacting to every beep. Those who regain control over their own reaction spare their nerves, improve their relationships and annoy precisely the people who wanted to provoke annoyance.